We like them, especially number nineteen. 
5 votes
I need to hear a good new joke
Started by
ski3pin
, Jun 08 2012 02:34 AM
2231 replies to this topic
#1271
ski3pin
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Posted 09 March 2019 - 02:16 AM
2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/
#1272
ski3pin
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Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:35 AM
A little boy was sitting on a bench busy eating a lap full of candy, just as fast as he could unwrap them. A man was passing by and saw what the youngster was doing and said, "All that candy is not good for you and will surely ruin your dinner!"
"I don't know about that," the boy replied, "But my grandpa lived to be 102."
The man was astonished, "Wow, by eating candy like that?"
"No, by minding his own business."
2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/
#1273
ski3pin
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Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:38 AM
A fellow went to the doctor and the doctor gave him two months to live. The guy shot the doctor. The judge gave him 30 years.
2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/
#1274
cwdtmmrs
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Posted 15 March 2019 - 06:52 AM
A fellow went to the doctor and the doctor gave him two months to live. The guy shot the doctor. The judge gave him 30 years.
Much like the man that went to his doctor for a physical. Went it was over the doctor tells the man "I've got some good news and some bad news". The man requests the good news first. The doctors says " You only have 24 hours left to live" . The man in shock says " Oh My God Doc, if that is the good news, what is is the bad news? The doctor replies, "I should have told you yesterday".
CWDT
#1275
ntsqd
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Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:38 PM
A fellow went to the doctor and the doctor gave him two months to live. The guy shot the doctor. The judge gave him 30 years.
For things like that a second opinion is always a good idea.
Thom
Where does that road go?
Where does that road go?
#1276
Vic Harder
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Posted 17 March 2019 - 05:14 AM
Flower story
A client bought a new home and her agent sent flowers for the occasion. The flowers arrived at the home and the card said "Rest in Peace".
The new owner was dismayed and called the florist to complain. After he learned of the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Madam, I am really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting upset you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".
2015 Silverado 3500 crew cab 8' bed Diesel
2012 ATC Puma Shell build - https://www.wanderth...012-puma-build/
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Building out an electrical system - So, you want to setup a good electrical system in your camper? - Electrical, Charging, Solar, Batteries and Generators - Wander the West
2012 ATC Puma Shell build - https://www.wanderth...012-puma-build/
Power considerations thread - https://www.wanderth...e-power-scotty/
Building out an electrical system - So, you want to setup a good electrical system in your camper? - Electrical, Charging, Solar, Batteries and Generators - Wander the West
#1277
Wandering Sagebrush
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Posted 17 March 2019 - 06:09 AM
Vic, that is funny!
I am haunted by waters
#1278
ski3pin
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Posted 17 March 2019 - 09:08 PM
Vic, that is funny!
Yup!
2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/
#1279
ski3pin
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Posted 18 March 2019 - 11:58 PM
A day late but I cannot resist -
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O'Connor looks around and says, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'
They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
'Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.'
Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants.
Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and he’s afraid to come home.'
'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife.
'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.
2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/
#1280
pvstoy
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Posted 19 March 2019 - 01:55 AM
Awe..This be a good one, the misses and I had a laugh.
Patrick
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