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I need to hear a good new joke


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#1271 ski3pin

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Posted 09 March 2019 - 02:16 AM

We like them, especially number nineteen. :)


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#1272 ski3pin

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Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:35 AM

A little boy was sitting on a bench busy eating a lap full of candy, just as fast as he could unwrap them. A man was passing by and saw what the youngster was doing and said, "All that candy is not good for you and will surely ruin your dinner!"

"I don't know about that," the boy replied, "But my grandpa lived to be 102."

The man was astonished, "Wow, by eating candy like that?"

"No, by minding his own business."


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2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln

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#1273 ski3pin

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Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:38 AM

A fellow went to the doctor and the doctor gave him two months to live. The guy shot the doctor. The judge gave him 30 years.


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2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln

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#1274 cwdtmmrs

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Posted 15 March 2019 - 06:52 AM

A fellow went to the doctor and the doctor gave him two months to live. The guy shot the doctor. The judge gave him 30 years.

 

Much like the man that went  to his doctor for a physical. Went it was over the doctor tells the man "I've got some good news and some bad news". The man requests the good news first. The doctors says " You only have 24 hours left to live" . The man in shock says " Oh My God Doc, if that is the good news, what is is the bad news? The doctor replies, "I should have told you yesterday".


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#1275 ntsqd

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Posted 15 March 2019 - 12:38 PM

A fellow went to the doctor and the doctor gave him two months to live. The guy shot the doctor. The judge gave him 30 years.

 

For things like that a second opinion is always a good idea.
 


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#1276 Vic Harder

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Posted Yesterday, 05:14 AM

Flower story
 
A client bought a new home and her agent sent flowers for the occasion.  The flowers arrived at the home and the card said "Rest in Peace".
 
The new owner was dismayed and called the florist to complain.  After he learned of the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Madam, I am really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting upset you should imagine this:  somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".

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#1277 Wandering Sagebrush

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Posted Yesterday, 06:09 AM

Vic, that is funny!
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#1278 ski3pin

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Posted Yesterday, 09:08 PM

Vic, that is funny!

 

Yup!  :)


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2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln

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