2228 replies to this topic

[buckland]

And two positives make a negative!   ("Ya...Right")

[ski3pin]

CALLER:     Is this Gordon's Pizza?

 

GOOGLE:    No sir, it's Google.

 

CALLER:     I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.

 

GOOGLE:     No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

 

CALLER:     OK.  I would like to order a pizza.

 

GOOGLE:     Do you want your usual, sir?

 

CALLER:   My usual?  You know me?

 

GOOGLE:  According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

 

CALLER:     OK!  That’s what I want ...

 

GOOGLE:  May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

 

CALLER:     What?  I detest vegetable!

 

GOOGLE:    Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

 

CALLER:     How the hell do you know!

 

GOOGLE:  Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

 

CALLER:   Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.

 

GOOGLE:    Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you purchased  only a  box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

 

CALLER:     I bought more from another drugstore.

 

GOOGLE:     That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

 

CALLER:     I paid in cash.

 

GOOGLE:     But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

 

CALLER:     I have other sources of cash.

 

GOOGLE:     That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

 

CALLER:     WHAT THE HELL!

 

GOOGLE:     I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

 

CALLER:   Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

 

GOOGLE:    I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...

 

 

[MarkBC]

CALLER:     Is this Gordon's Pizza?
 
GOOGLE:    No sir, it's Google.
 
CALLER:     I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.
 
GOOGLE:     No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
 
CALLER:     OK.  I would like to order a pizza.
 
GOOGLE:     Do you want your usual, sir?
 
CALLER:   My usual?  You know me?
 
GOOGLE:  According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
 
CALLER:     OK!  That’s what I want ...
 
GOOGLE:  May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
 
CALLER:     What?  I detest vegetable!
 
GOOGLE:    Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
 
CALLER:     How the hell do you know!
 
GOOGLE:  Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
 
CALLER:   Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.
 
GOOGLE:    Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you purchased  only a  box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
 
CALLER:     I bought more from another drugstore.
 
GOOGLE:     That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
 
CALLER:     I paid in cash.
 
GOOGLE:     But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
 
CALLER:     I have other sources of cash.
 
GOOGLE:     That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
 
CALLER:     WHAT THE HELL!
 
GOOGLE:     I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
 
CALLER:   Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
 
GOOGLE:    I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...

When the Machines take over I'm going to be a collaborator - I want a primo spot in The Matrix!

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

1984 Big Brother is here.

Frank

[smlobx]

Found in a dating website...(supposedly)

 

Man with Corona virus seeking woman with Lyme’s disease...

 

Groan...

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

That's a match made ,  in heaven?

Frank

[ntsqd]

I've read that they've discovered a parallel, less virulent strain of the Corona Virus. They're calling it the Corona Light virus.

[Vic Harder]

What with "spring" being just around the corner,

 

And this happening in Ski's neighborhood

https://www.wanderth...ingenjoy/page-2

 

and - 5*F here at home this morning, I thought I would post some of the various seasons we experience rather than the staid collection of just four:

 

 

[JaSAn]

For us, there are only two:

 - winter

 - road construction

 

Or as Mark Twain famously did not say:

'the coldest winter I ever spent was one summer in Duluth'

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

For us, there are only two:

 - winter

 - road construction

 

Or as Mark Twain famously did not say:

'the coldest winter I ever spent was one summer in Duluth'

Didn't he say the same about San Francisco?

It's true though.

Frank