2228 replies to this topic

[ski3pin]

And think ahead to 2033 and all the Quaranteen jokes we'll be telling.

[pvstoy]

My Gal was cleaning out some stuff and left this for me.

 

 

The Husband Store

 

The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

 

 "You may visit the store ONLY ONCE~ There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

"So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

 

The second-floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

 

The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. “OH, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!

 

"Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

 

A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

 

 

 

 

[Vic Harder]

good one Patrick!

[ntsqd]

Thinking of starting a line of Braille horror novels

 

You can really feel the suspense

 

 

 

blatantly stolen form another forum.

Edited by ntsqd, 30 May 2020 - 03:18 AM.

[ski3pin]

Julie and I are rolling on the floor! Thank you.

 

My Gal was cleaning out some stuff and left this for me.

 

 

The Husband Store

 

The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

 

 "You may visit the store ONLY ONCE~ There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

"So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

 

The second-floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

 

The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

 

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. “OH, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!

 

"Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

 

 

A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

 

 

good one Patrick!

 

[ski3pin]

I've been washing my hands so much lately that I just found an old girlfriend's phone number.

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

Oops,keep on washing.

Frank

[Wandering Sagebrush]

I’ve decided to sell our vacuum cleaner.

 

It’s just gathering dust.

[ski3pin]

After digging to a depth of 10 feet last year outside Buffalo, New York, scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

 

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside.  Shortly afterward, a story in the LA Times read, "California archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.

 

One week later, a local newspaper in Green Bay, Wisconsin reported, "After digging 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Sobieski, Wisconsin, Ole Olson, a heck of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Wisconsin had already gone wireless."

 

Just makes a person proud to be from Wisconsin .

 

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Recently seen on the interwebs.

 

”If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss, what does smoking marijuana do?”