I need to hear a good new joke

[ski3pin]

Did you get stuck with the milking and churning?

Have you ever been hit along the side of the head by a cow’s tail full of cockle burs?

Yes, back when I was a Quaker. I said to the cow, "Now Bossie, I cannot strike thee. But on the morrow I will sell thee to the baptist and he'll beat the **** out of thee."

 

[Wandering Sagebrush]

Ah, yes… the good old days of naming cows. I don’t remember all, but we had Flossie, Mable, Lolly, Mavis, and Shine (our milk cow)… all but Shine were Herefords.

Every bull was named Pete.

 

[Sagebrush Reconnoiterer]

Every bull was named Pete.

So, if there were two bulls, you had Pete and Repete?

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

All that work.....................we just used butter.

I had good strong hands after. Butter that was for the rich folks.
Frank

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

So, if there were two bulls, you had Pete and Repete?

Good one.
Frank

 

[JaSAn]

Grammar rule for today --> I before E, except for when:

Your neighbor Keith receives eight counerfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.

 

[JaSAn]

 

[ski3pin]

Grammar rule for today --> I before E, except for when:

Your neighbor Keith receives eight counerfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.

This is good!!!!!!!!

 

[Casa Escarlata Robles Too]

View attachment 1109842

They must be for people with hearing problems.
Frank

 

[Sagebrush Reconnoiterer]

View attachment 1109842

Maybe they meant "Loud Mouth" audio books.

 

[h2opup]

View attachment 1109842

 

[JaSAn]

It helps if you imagine autocorrect as a tiny little elf in your phone who's trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.

Michael Smith​

 

[JaSAn]

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember:
read and lead rhyme . . . and read and lead rhyme.
But read and lead don't rhyme
and neither do read and lead.