I need to hear a good new joke

A family friend tells me he writes songs about sewing machines... He’s a Singer Songwriter, or sew it seams.

Yeah, I know I’ll get needled for this. Some jokes sound too fabricated, but this one's simply tailor-made to have everyone in stitches.
 
Wandering Sagebrush said:
A family friend tells me he writes songs about sewing machines... He’s a Singer Songwriter, or sew it seams.

Yeah, I know I’ll get needled for this. Some jokes sound too fabricated, but this one's simply tailor-made to have everyone in stitches.
Click to expand...
You hit all the buttons with this one.
 
Seamstress has been reduced somewhat this morning. Even a banjo man can say he dropped pick this morning. Just slub it off.

Paul

ps. First wife was fabric inspector. In case, these were a little obscure.
 
coffee.jpg
 
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and talked the owner. He said he'd like to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, the shopkeeper sold him an exotic talking centipede. The centipede came in a little white box to use for his house.

The guy took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet down to the corner bar with him.

He asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to the corner bar with me? Everyone gathers there for a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered the guy a bit. He waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going down to the bar? We'll meet some girls." Again, no answer from his new friend and pet.

He waited a few minutes longer, puzzled by the situation. He decided to invite the centipede one last time, only this time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Do you want to go to the bar with me?" This time a little voice came out of the box , "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on."
 
Anyone who thinks it is possible to make money on horses hasn’t owned one.
Only the vet., feed store, and tack store make money. Some well run stables with an endless supply of horse crazy young girls willing to clean, feed, and exercise horses for boarding their horse can do OK.

Horses, otherwise, are similar to boats in this respect.

Paul

ps. I have had and still have both horses and boats. :)
 
My brother often talks about a friend of his who has five children at home. This friend is often asked how, it this day and age, he is able to afford raising five children. His standard answer, "I don't own a horse."
 
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