I need to hear a good new joke

Happy Star Wars day.
Let the silliness begin.
Frank


IMG_5260.jpeg

PS make the bad man go away.
 
As Mother’s Day approaches, a bit of wisdom for us gents...

”A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.”
 
ski3pin said:
How to cook crack and clean crabs.
Step one, learn to use commas.

Wandering Sagebrush said:
As Mother’s Day approaches, a bit of wisdom for us gents...

”A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.”
I like both of these... thanks for the laugh!
 
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous woman eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of her socket towards the man. With his quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air. "Oh my god, I'm sooooo sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye back into its socket. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman offered to drive him home. "But it's over an hour out of your way," the man said. "Are you sure you don't mind?" "Not at all," she said. "I'm looking forward to it." The guy was amazed and flattered. "You know, you're the perfect woman," he said. "Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replied, "you just happened to catch my eye!"
 
A guy sits down at a bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything okay pal?" the bartender asks. The man replies "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn't going to talk to me for a month."

Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well maybe that's a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?"

"Yeah, says the man, but that was 29 days ago."
 
Wandering Sagebrush said:
I was just told by a friend in Vancouver that they refer to them as Eh-scargot.
How about the snail that wanted to paint a big "S" on the hood of his sports car because he wanted people to point and say, "Look at that "S" car go.....
 

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