I needed something funny..........................
- Thread starter ski3pin
- Start date
Ski don't know where you find this stuff. You must live a sheltered life, living in the "Sierra Nevada Range". You should get out more often.
Hope the snow has stopped.
Frank
Hope the snow has stopped.
Frank
busboy66
Contributors
umm...errr....ick! Listerine candidate.
Don't possums have nasty bacteria in their mouth?
Don't possums have nasty bacteria in their mouth?
OP
OP
Ski don't know where you find this stuff. You must live a sheltered life, living in the "Sierra Nevada Range". You should get out more often.
Hope the snow has stopped.
Frank
A physician friend, newly retired, sent me this link. An avid fly-fisher and fly-tyer, he is appalled at the price of store bought fly tying material and always gets upset when somebody beats him to good roadkill.
Hope the snow has stopped.
Frank
A physician friend, newly retired, sent me this link. An avid fly-fisher and fly-tyer, he is appalled at the price of store bought fly tying material and always gets upset when somebody beats him to good roadkill.
I think what was going on in that story was just another version of this:
That guy just wanted to bond with his fellow mammals, like the woman above, and not everyone can afford a trip to Mexico.
That guy just wanted to bond with his fellow mammals, like the woman above, and not everyone can afford a trip to Mexico.
Well I think kissing an opossum is a "red neck" thing. Whales just don't migrate into the south that much.So he had to do the next best thing.
Frank
Frank
Foy
Resident Geologist
Q: How does the well-prepared Cajun assure he's getting the freshest road-kill to bring home for supper?
A: He keeps a can of Day-Glo orange spray paint in the truck. On the way to work, he paints a stripe on any road-kill he finds. On the way home in the evening, he picks up whatever don't got no stripe.
Foy
A: He keeps a can of Day-Glo orange spray paint in the truck. On the way to work, he paints a stripe on any road-kill he finds. On the way home in the evening, he picks up whatever don't got no stripe.
Foy
Desert Rancher
Contributors
If you have ever smelled a whale when it exhales, you would not even want to get that close to one. It is BAD.
Foy
Resident Geologist
If you have ever smelled a whale when it exhales, you would not even want to get that close to one. It is BAD.
A short while back I was fishing for striped bass in the Atlantic Ocean just off of Oregon Inlet, NC. Migrating whales were in abundance that day and at that place. A whale longer than the 48' sportfisherman we were aboard breached mere yards off our starboard beam, and upwind. If I've ever smelled a more foul odor than its exhalation, I can't recall it. My son gagged and barfed over the transom within seconds of the funk cloud enveloping us.
Foy
A short while back I was fishing for striped bass in the Atlantic Ocean just off of Oregon Inlet, NC. Migrating whales were in abundance that day and at that place. A whale longer than the 48' sportfisherman we were aboard breached mere yards off our starboard beam, and upwind. If I've ever smelled a more foul odor than its exhalation, I can't recall it. My son gagged and barfed over the transom within seconds of the funk cloud enveloping us.
Foy
K6ON
Old & Soft
Where Men Go Wrong !!
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!", And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and went camping in his ATC and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Gentleman Jack and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!", And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and went camping in his ATC and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Gentleman Jack and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.
Attachments
Where Men Go Wrong !!
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!", And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Gentleman Jack and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.
Yup, it's all about choices!
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!", And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Gentleman Jack and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.
Yup, it's all about choices!
Foy
Resident Geologist
Yup, it's all about choices!
Yes, sometimes a story DOES have a happy ending.
Foy
Alex
Senior Member
Where Men Go Wrong !!
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!", And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and went camping in his ATC and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Gentleman Jack and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.
Damn, where is this story 16 years ago!
Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!", And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew airplanes all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and went camping in his ATC and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Gentleman Jack and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up........ The end.
Damn, where is this story 16 years ago!
leadsled9
Contributors
Quasimoto
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame
sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was
needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews
personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had
decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him and
announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The
bishop was incredulous.
"You have no arms!"
"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells
with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop
listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable
replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell,
the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window
to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side.
When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen
figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments
before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them
asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."
{You want more, you say?}
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart
due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop
continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first
man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor
armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday.
I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's
brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned,
clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the
bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his
side.
"What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked. "Who is this man?"
"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead
ringer for his brother."
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame
sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was
needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews
personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had
decided to call it a day, when an armless man approached him and
announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The
bishop was incredulous.
"You have no arms!"
"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells
with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop
listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable
replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell,
the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window
to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side.
When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen
figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments
before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them
asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."
{You want more, you say?}
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart
due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop
continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first
man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor
armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday.
I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's
brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned,
clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the
bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his
side.
"What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked. "Who is this man?"
"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead
ringer for his brother."
