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I need to hear a good new joke


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#2161 pvstoy

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Posted 18 November 2023 - 02:06 AM

Shared with my gal, good one's. Thanks AWG_Pics.
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Patrick

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#2162 Vic Harder

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Posted 18 November 2023 - 02:40 AM

awesome collection AWG.... thanks, I needed that!


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#2163 AWG_Pics

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Posted 18 November 2023 - 02:49 AM

Lots of truths buried in those jokes!


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#2164 Big Al

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Posted 18 November 2023 - 07:35 AM

A fish swims into a wall.  He says, "Dam."  

 

++++++++++

 

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"  

 

++++++++++

 

 

A rabbi, a priest and a buddhist holy man walk into a church.  The bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke."  

 

++++++++++

 

 

A Higgs boson walks into a church and the priest says, "Get out of here.  We don't allow Higgs bosons in church.  The boson replies, without me, how can you have mass?"  

 

++++++++++

 

 

A snail walks in to a bar and orders a drink. The bartender grabs the snail, runs to the door, and throws him as far as he can throw.

 

Several weeks later the snail walks in to the same bar and yells, "What the hell was that for?!"

 

 

++++++++++

 

 

A minister, a priest, and a rabbit walked into a bar.

Bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll you have?"

Rabbit says, "I don't know. I'm only here because of auto-correct."

 

++++++++++

 

A Roman Legionnaire walk into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

 

"You mean a  martini?" the bartender asks.

 

The Legionnaire replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

 

++++++++++

 

A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!"

 

The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.

 

A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.

 

When he went back to his beer, the voice said "What a stud you are!"

 

The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on. The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts--they're complimentary

 

++++++++++

 

A midget walks into a bar, sits down and screams in disgust, "I cant' do anything right!"

 

The bartender walks over to him and says, "Don't sell yourself short".

 

++++++++++

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

 

++++++++++

 

A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?".

 

 

 


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#2165 ntsqd

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Posted 22 November 2023 - 05:47 PM

I made a play list for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.

 
 

I call it my Trail Mix

 


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Thom

Where does that road go?

#2166 ski3pin

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Posted 22 November 2023 - 06:01 PM

I made a play list for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.

 
 

I call it my Trail Mix

Ouch, but I like it! :)


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2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln  http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/


#2167 JaSAn

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Posted 22 November 2023 - 10:50 PM

1tent.jpg


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#2168 Casa Escarlata Robles Too

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Posted 22 November 2023 - 11:18 PM

Ugh!

Frank


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#2169 ski3pin

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Posted 01 December 2023 - 06:12 PM

"He's making a list

He's checking it twice

He left it at home

He's texting his wife"


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2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln  http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/


#2170 SKarma

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Posted 02 December 2023 - 09:00 AM

A banjo player spent half of his time tuning his banjo, the rest of the time he plays out of tune.  

 

A Photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks "do you have any luggage?" "No, I'm traveling light".

 

What do frogs wear on their feet in the summer? Open toad shoes.

 

Why are there no accordions in any of the Star Trek movies? Because they are not in the future! 

 

A banjo and a guitar player fall out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first? The guitar player, because the banjo player needs to stop and tune.


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