I need to hear a good new joke

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2024 Super Bowl in Las Vegas, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $9,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Jenny she's 5'5", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Where do bad rainbows go?


It's a light sentence........ and it gives them time to reflect.........

(This one's pretty young, don't think it's full groan yet...... )
Julie was the first I ran that comment by and those of you who have met her know she has a keen sense of humor. So, no worries from me. :)

ski3pin said:
Is that St. Michael's in Vegas? I think I could make it.

Vic Harder said:
Me too! May the best man win!

Wandering Sagebrush said:
All y’all best hope your brides don’t read your posts. Heap o trouble, at least two weeks in the electric chair.

Casa Escarlata Robles Too said:
Amen to that.

Vic Harder said:
wait, what does it mean if she suggested it???
A squirrel infestation in a small midwestern town.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels took an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unbeknownst to the Baptists, instinctively knew how to swim. Twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. They humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They did not kill any squirrels but learned how much damage a band of drunken squirrels can do.

The Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

The Jewish synagogue was most successful with their approach. They circumcised the first squirrel that showed up. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

Latest posts

Top Bottom