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I need to hear a good new joke


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#1501 buckland

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Posted 16 August 2020 - 10:34 PM

Agree! Grasping at all positives!
I sent it along to friends who likewise needed a lift. Hang in there!!
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2016 Duramax 2.8 Diesel long bed Colorado 4WD with 2011 Eagle

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The only people who ever get anyplace interesting are the people who get lost.
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"Work to achieve not to acquire"

 


#1502 ski3pin

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Posted 18 August 2020 - 11:58 PM

A big gold star to you and your Mom!! Wonderful, just wonderful. :)

 

My Italian mother just sent me this YouTube link.

you don’t have to be Italian to appreciate the expressions on the kids faces..

 

‘’Enjoy!

 

https://youtu.be/JNgCM7zp30M

 


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2003 Ford Ranger FX4 Level II 2013 ATC Bobcat SE "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln  http://ski3pin.blogspot.com/


#1503 buckland

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Posted 19 August 2020 - 11:06 PM

Reading the sightings thread ... I recall someone saying the importance of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes

That way you’re a mile away from them and have a new pair of shoes.
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2016 Duramax 2.8 Diesel long bed Colorado 4WD with 2011 Eagle

Lordwoodcraft  instagram        Rob
The only people who ever get anyplace interesting are the people who get lost.
Henry David Thoreau
"Work to achieve not to acquire"

 


#1504 Casa Escarlata Robles Too

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Posted 20 August 2020 - 03:34 PM

Reading the sightings thread ... I recall someone saying the importance of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes

That way you’re a mile away from them and have a new pair of shoes.

How true.

Frank


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#1505 JaSAn

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Posted 21 August 2020 - 05:22 PM

go out.jpg

 

 


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#1506 Mighty Dodge Ram

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Posted 24 August 2020 - 02:46 PM

RIley says, “Amen brother, amen!”


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Richard
1996 Dodge Ram 1500 4x4, lightly lifted, ARB bumper/Warn winch, BFG AT/KO2, Snugtop shell. SOLD! But not forgotten!
2002 Chevy 2500HD XC LB 6.0L 4X4, Leer Hi-Rise shell, completely stock...for now!

#1507 Wandering Sagebrush

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Posted 25 August 2020 - 11:38 PM

A man goes to a New Orleans bar and asks the bartender, “can I get a Corona and two Hurricanes please?”...

 
The bartender replies...”Sure, that’ll be $20.20”

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#1508 JaSAn

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Posted 26 August 2020 - 12:40 AM

Autocorrect makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.


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Sköldpaddan, a 1977 FWC Grandby
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#1509 buckland

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Posted 26 August 2020 - 12:45 AM

IMG_1352.JPG ha!
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2016 Duramax 2.8 Diesel long bed Colorado 4WD with 2011 Eagle

Lordwoodcraft  instagram        Rob
The only people who ever get anyplace interesting are the people who get lost.
Henry David Thoreau
"Work to achieve not to acquire"

 


#1510 Vic Harder

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Posted 26 August 2020 - 06:48 AM

An American Success Story:
 
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine is always located.  He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look.  One morning the shoeshine asks the Executive Director: 
  - What do you think about the situation in the stock market? 
 
  The Director asks in turn arrogantly:  - Why are you so interested in that - that topic? 
 
“I have a million dollars in your bank," the shoeshine says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market.” 
 
  - What is your name?  –Asks the Director. 
 
  - John H. Smith. 
 
  The Director arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department: 
  - Do we have a client named John H. Smith ? 
 
  - Certainly –answers the Customer Service Manager– he is a highly esteemed customer.  He has a million dollars in his account. 
 
The Director comes out, approaches the shoeshine, and says:  - Mr. Smith, I ask you this coming Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life.  I am sure we will have something to learn from you.
 
At the board meeting, the Executive Director introduces him to the board members: 
- We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine in the corner;  But Mr. Smith is also our esteemed customer with a million dollars in his account.  I invited him to tell us the story of his life.  I am sure we can learn from him. 
 
 Mr. Smith began his story: 
  - I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name.  I got off the ship without a penny.  The first thing I did was change my name to Smith.  I was hungry and exhausted.  I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail.  Suddenly I found a coin on the sidewalk.  I bought an apple.  I had two options: eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business.  I sold the apple for two dollars and bought two apples with the money.  I also sold them and continued in business.  When I started accumulating dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.  I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive.  I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and ointments in different shades and expanded my clientele.  I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.  After a while I was able to buy an armchair so that my clients could sit comfortably while cleaning their shoes, and that brought me more clients.  I did not spend a penny on the joys of life.  I kept saving every penny.  A few years ago, when the previous shoe shine on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place. 
 
Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a prostitute in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars.

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